We completed Connected Forever with Bonnie and Brian Ragan. The eight-week sessions and homework allowed us to start discussions. In one lesson, we talked about how our individual experiences growing up in two different families continued to influence us. There were positives, but it was the negative patterns, that we typically weren’t even aware of, that were finding unique ways to replicate in our relationship as a couple. And as parents. 

Talking was sometimes fun with them, often challenging, and occasionally we found it really uncomfortable. But we are still together today. We wanted to address dysfunction that had occurred and grown over two decades. We’d heard from friends, “Oh, you two are doing well,” but that didn’t challenge us to change.

Both Bonnie and Brian were interested in the two of us. They weren’t going to coddle us. We did feel protected. They believed in us and encouraged us to do our homework. They reminded us we would find it difficult. It’s been over a half year since we completed our work, and yes, we still have to push ourselves to talk about so many things. But it is better. We are hopeful. You can be too, if you want it. We personally agree with Bonnie and Brian. You are both worth the effort.  Your marriage is too. 

Try something that’s definitely gonna make you squirm. It’s so much better than silence, anger, resentment or whatever else you’ve been doing the past couple years. Believe in yourselves. Take the plunge again. Renew your initial commitment. We are glad we did!